Have a fetish? Write about it. Don't add salt.

Have a fetish?  Write about it.  Don’t add salt.

You’re back!  Thanks for visiting.  I’d like to use this opportunity as a means of discussing interesting and/or outrageous news tidbits.  Blogs are also a fun way of connecting with readers and writers.  Feel free to share your thoughts.

America: what a country.  Funny, sad.  Violent, mollycoddled.  Youth obsessed and longevity hopeful.  Living in a land of contradictions suits me to a T.

Do you think you live in a land of opportunity?  If you’re working a retail or restaurant job right now, you may not think you have time to write.  But I’m here to tell you… writing is how you can escape retail and restaurant jobs.  If you can’t afford to subscribe to The Writer and Writer’s Digest, chances are you can find these publications at your local library.  I read these helpful magazines for years and years before ever finding the courage to submit a story.  Now, those tools of the trade are considered business expenses.

I get at least part of my news online so I got caught up in that Applebee’s controversy wherein a waitress posted a stingy customer’s receipt on Reddit.  The customer in question was a pastor who wrote: ‘I give God 10%.  Why do you get 18?’  This pastor needs to get out more.  It has long been a restaurant industry standard to include an automatic gratuity for large parties of 8 or more.  With some places it’s 6.  I won’t address whether the waitress was in the right or wrong.  Applebee’s made that decision for her; she got fired.  I just think people who resent tipping should stay home.  And if you need a paycheck and enjoy working in food service… escape the bottom end of the food chain with banquet serving gigs.  Banquet servers never have to grovel for tips; the gratuity is woven into the fabric of every meal.  Best places to BS?  Hotels.  Steer clear of country clubs.  At CCs you’ll get your automatic gratuity but snobs paying thirty grand a year for the privilege of ‘belonging’ somewhere elite take a particular pleasure in treating servers like dirt.

I once had the presumably peerless experience of dining with a woman who had a salt fetish.  She snapped her fingers to get our waiter’s attention.  She complained that the butter on her role wasn’t salted.  When our waiter pointed to a salt shaker and suggested she use it, my companion tsked and said, ‘No, I prefer butter that’s already salted.  You must have salted butter around here somewhere.’  The waiter and I exchanged a knowing look.  He could tell just by my humble countenance aprons and bow ties are as familiar to me as hardtack is to a sailor.  I conveyed telepathically I would never dine with this person again and he winked in commiseration.

No matter what type of job you have, if you’re stuck in a rut, writing can empower you.  Celebrate your first story or article sale anywhere you fancy… but don’t forget to tip!